Job Posting: Unpublished Writer by Tami Moore

10 Feb

About The Company

Interested in joining us at Writer’s Block L.L.C? We are the fastest growing pre-professional writing company in the publishing industry. We’ve been providing agents, editors, and publishers with new voices and fresh manuscripts since the first artist scrawled a lopsided buffalo on a cave wall.

About the Position

Writer’s Block is constantly in search of Unpublished Writers. This unpaid and relatively thankless position represents a massive time commitment on the candidate’s part. Pastime and hobby sacrifices may be required. Candidates need to have the energy and ability to move forward in multiple directions without losing focus.

Opportunities for advancement exist, but are not guaranteed and are typically earned via results rather than awarded for tenure.

Requirements Include:

  • Excellent verbal and written communication skills are a must.
  • Ability to be creative is imperative, as is the ability to be analytical.
  • Strong organizational skills a must.
  • No degree or experience required, although a working knowledge of grammar and spelling is strongly advised.
  • Self-pacing and self-motivation are critical to success. With no direct manager, all progress will need to be monitored and measured by the applicant.
  • Candidates must know or learn how to ruthlessly and objectively review their own work.
  • Candidates must fully understand the concepts and implementation of plot, characterization, and pacing. No additional time or resources will be provided by Writer’s Block L.L.C for this recommended education.
  • Candidates will ideally be capable of professionally responding to both critiques and rejections.
  • A positive, networked web presence is a plus, although not a requirement.

How To Apply

Think you’ve got what it takes to be an Unpublished Writer? Can you handle the nonexistent pay, poor working conditions, and high demands of the position? Work space is unlimited but competition for advancement roles is fierce. We here at Writer’s Block L.L.C. would love to be your springboard into the higher echelons of the publishing industry. We are here for you, night or day, so long as you do all the work.

To apply, sit down at the nearest desk or computer and begin writing! It’s that simple! All applicants are welcome at any time. Writer’s Block L.L.C is an equal opportunity employer.

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26 Responses to “Job Posting: Unpublished Writer by Tami Moore”

  1. briaq February 10, 2010 at 10:19 am #

    Wait! Excellent Verbal Skills — you mean like talking? Out loud? Awwww crud, I’m going to have to lie on my resume *sigh*

    This is so great! I’d apply for Writer’s Block LLC!

    Thanks Tami 🙂

  2. Tami February 10, 2010 at 10:22 am #

    Gotta practice that sales pitch! You never know when you’ll be stuck in an elevator with an agent or editor (or bathroom. They can’t escape in the bathroom!) and you’ll need those skills!

    (For the record – I do not advocate cornering agents in the bathroom. XD)

  3. briaq February 10, 2010 at 10:27 am #

    I second the do not corner them in the bathroom LOL

    Thanks again Tami!!!

  4. Katrina Williams February 10, 2010 at 1:10 pm #

    Wow, I didn’t know I was ideally suited to be a writer – I’ve been thinking I was dumb to even try it. But that job description actually excited me. I read through it and was like “Yep.”, “Yep.”, “Got that.”, “Oh, that is SOOO me.” I am especially thrilled to learn the web presence is not a requirement because that part’s not so good right now…

    Great post Tami, and great job letting someone else have the spotlight Bria!

  5. mamadivine February 10, 2010 at 1:34 pm #

    I see a few requirements I need to work on if I want to be promoted. Great post, Tami.

  6. Tami February 10, 2010 at 2:23 pm #

    @Katrina Williams
    *laughs* If the job description excited you, then you’re a leg up on the other folks who don’t realize what the job entails! Thanks!

    @mamadivine
    Ah, promotion. Someday, you shall be mine!

  7. melsmag February 10, 2010 at 3:15 pm #

    Wow Kat, for me it was the opposite! ROFLMAO! I was going through those and was like… nope don’t have that… or that… or that… sheesh. LOL.

    Self-motivation… now that’s a tough one as Bria very well knows. She knows all too well my addictions (i.e. a game… that took over).

  8. Tami February 10, 2010 at 3:22 pm #

    @melsmag

    *laughs*

    Writer’s Block L.L.C. is willing to fully fund your nonpaying position as an Unpublished Writer while you gain skillsets like self-motivation!

    =]

    (also, which game? *avid gamer*)

  9. briaq February 10, 2010 at 3:23 pm #

    MEL – GET ROWING THE BOAT – WE’RE AT A STAND STILL HERE!

    How’s that? 😉

  10. melsmag February 10, 2010 at 3:43 pm #

    At the time it was Evony, Tami. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t other free game sites… *cough*Briagotmehookedonone*cough* :p

  11. briaq February 10, 2010 at 3:49 pm #

    *cof*briagother3hoursintodayalready*cof*

    (tami, you may have noticed but mel’s my accountability buddy….apparently that only goes one way right now. ignore her. I”m throwing her life vests from the boat and she’s ignoring them *ducks*)

  12. december February 10, 2010 at 4:05 pm #

    I’m currently in the Jr assistant VP of the local branch. I just got promoted.

  13. briaq February 10, 2010 at 4:08 pm #

    Congrats! 🙂

  14. Tami February 10, 2010 at 4:11 pm #

    @mel and bria
    *gigglesnort* What kind of accountability buddy distracts you with shiny video games? Sounds like some kind of reverse psychology ploy to me!

    @december
    Wow, congratulations!

  15. melsmag February 10, 2010 at 4:17 pm #

    @Tami, erm… I think it goes both way. I got her to join Evony as well… so… um yeah :p

  16. Tami February 10, 2010 at 4:18 pm #

    @mel

    *throws up her hands, laughing* You’re both guilty!

    Still, gaming can be a tantalizing reward for reaching your accountability goals!

    I mean. So can cookies. But gaming is kinder to your figure. 😉

  17. briaq February 10, 2010 at 4:26 pm #

    I joined for the few days i stayed with her. I left and gave it up.

    A few weeks later the emails started:

    Bria! Your people are dying! I’ll go feed them for you

    LOL

    I’m not kidding 🙂

  18. Tami February 10, 2010 at 4:28 pm #

    @Bria
    Wow, remind me never to tell her about my abandoned aquariums and farms on Facebook!

  19. briaq February 11, 2010 at 10:10 am #

    Thanks for joining us Tami – This was a lot of fun… I’m thinking I need to reorg my job description LOL

  20. Tami February 11, 2010 at 10:11 am #

    *grins* I had a lot of fun, too! And I don’t think yours needs reorganizing – I like that it’s more detailed. =]

  21. Jeannie Lin February 11, 2010 at 10:22 pm #

    That just about fits the bill. Wow, very nice. This sets the bar high for the upcoming job descriptions. Mine isn’t going to be nearly as clever as Tami’s.

  22. Byrd February 11, 2010 at 11:29 pm #

    Tami your animals on Facebook went George Orwell and you need to find something new. :-p

  23. Tami February 12, 2010 at 8:38 am #

    @Jeannie
    If they were all the same, the project would be no fun! A guest post series should be something like a crazy quilt. I’m very excited to read the other entries – I’m still low man on the totem poll (one of many cubicle jockeys here at Writer’s Block L.L.C) and I have a lot to learn and look forward to!

  24. briaq February 12, 2010 at 10:33 am #

    Jeannie – i’m excited to see where people in different places in their career change and grow the description. But yeah, Tami did a great job, huh?

  25. Janelle February 13, 2010 at 11:49 pm #

    Wow!!! I knew I had four jobs, but I didn’t know the name of the fourth company!!!

    So here are all of my job titles:

    1. Mother, full-time employee of JSA, Inc.
    2. Tutor, part-time employee of Community College Near My House
    3. Office Help Person (aka Assistant), part-time employee of Big Name Insurance Company
    4. Unpublished Writer, whenever-I-can-fit-in-time employee of Writer’s Block LLC

    Thanks for the clarification!! ;o)

    Janelle

    PS – I expect a promotion soon…

  26. Celise February 14, 2010 at 12:57 am #

    Great post, Bria. Writer’s Block, LLC. Whoda thunk it? At one time, I think I could’ve been the CEO of this company. LOL.

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