Dream Big – Part 2

12 Jan


I should have put this in the post, because it’s something I’ve discussed every time I’ve done this. Some of you are going to see this as hard push, but it’s not meant that way. We get so few opportunities to do something for ourselves. This should be one of them.

It’s wonderful to dream big for others (several of you did this, there’s always a bunch of people who do it) but that isn’t YOUR DREAMS. Your wishes for YOU.

A full life is a well-rounded one, one where we chase after things for ourselves – not in the selfish way where we disregard the feelings and wishes of those we care about, but in a way that grows us to be more… a better person, mom, wife, sister, husband, dad, friend, etc.

Let me put it this way: It’s wonderful to dream big things for others, but it’s safe. It’s safe because there’s no personal risk involved.

And the second reason why most of your focus shouldn’t be on others: It’s not your right OR obligation to make their dreams come true. Yes, being able to do that can be a blessing (for both of you) but, that’s not what YOUR Dream Big is about. We each have one life, you can’t live someone else’s for them – whether in a good way OR a bad way. The big dreams you may have for someone may NOT be the big dreams they have for themselves. Just like we have a tough time even admitting our true big dreams to ourselves, our loved ones may not have admitted theirs yet…. or even realized them.

Dream Big isn’t for others, it’s for you. If your Dream Big allows those you love more freedom to do what they desire – that is a HUGE BONUS. But it isn’t the goal.

Everything about making goals is personal. So, everyone take a step back and think about your goals… are they for you, or what you think you SHOULD be doing, or what you think OTHERS THINK YOU SHOULD be doing?

We all have obligations. I’m not say to shirk those. But there are times and places in life where you need to focus on you. This is one of them.

Become a better mom. A better husband. A better friend…. by becoming a better you.

Let me flip this the other way in case you’re still saying “Yeah, but….” What if someone you cared about decided they knew best about how you should run your life. Sometimes we say just enough (or know just enough) about what we want that when we talk about it, people don’t see the plan the way we do.

My one of my very closes friends is like this. It has caused us not to talk for over a year once. He made a plan and started enforcing it and telling me how *my* life was going to be. He’d heard parts of what I want in life and shoved them in a box of how he thinks life should be and then started making plans… making dreams… for me. And actually ruined an opporutnitiy I would have had by “helping” without my knowledge.

IT WAS HORRIBLE. And it wasn’t his right, no matter how much he cares about me, to try to make “my” dreams come true…

Everyone, as the saying goes, must be the master of their own destiny.

Now, look at your Dream Big again – and dream big for YOU.

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