Breaking Dawn: Getting on the ‘Not Getting On It’ bandwagon

9 Aug

Show of hands – Who is avoiding all the Breaking Dawn gossip and rants and raves?


Last year Stephanie Meyer was coming to “speak” at the B&N by me. The one I write in every day. The manager was kind enough to explain the situation to me a few days before and I thought “What the heck, I’ll read the books and go hear her.”


Well, I found the first one a bit of a slow start, but was quickly sucked in. Emotional stripped and dragged along would be a better way to put it.  And at the end, I couldn’t wait for Breaking Dawn — even the INSANE 10,000 kids who had them shut down the B&N and the hi-way exit nearby didn’t dampen the reads. 


But then I got away from them, away from the intensity and it felt about a bit like that really bad, super-intense relationship you had in college (or maybe high school) where you life was all about the other person and you lost yourself (not in the good way) in them and that it didn’t matter what they did, it was the right thing and the next thing you know they’re defining you – telling you who you are and starting to change you in ways you never wanted to be changed —- Yeah, maybe that’s it, maybe all of us have had that relationship to some level — the symbiotic feeding and taking  that makes you less of a person in a lot of ways.


But, if you’re lucky, you escape that and, while coming off it might be a lot like struggling through the painful passage of drug withdrawal, the end result is an over-whelming relief and a re-finding of your own emotional grounding and a singleness that is, in itself, a new learning experience.


That’s how I feel about the Twilight series.  Being in it was an emotional high that pushed and dragged and forced me through the books with a desperation to hold on and see what would happen next – when I finished the last one at that moment I NEEDED the next one — but it wasn’t there. I returned to the high again, looking at  favorite passages, wondering how Meyer made me angsty and achy with heartbreak. But slowly, other books came along — Julia Quinn’s witty dialogue, Jay Asher’s real to life pain, regret and renewal, SEP’s arrogant but approachable jocks — And I found my need wasn’t as much. I still wanted to know what happens, but only if its the outcomes I want.


It was like bumping into a friend who had abused my friendship over and over but wanting her to be the friend I had first thought she was – to be what I needed her to be. And I did what any smart woman does. I said “Nice to see you” and turned and walked away.


And so, Breaking Dawn, I’m seeing you everywhere Dawn, but I’m not even reading the spoilers – In my world you are what I want you to be but you aren’t sucking me back into the overwhelming roller-coaster of turmoil you promise.  Everyone else can say “Oh, that’s just how Dawn is,” but not I.  I wish you luck, and maybe – one day when I’m emotionally a stronger person – I’ll let you visit and see if you play nice and not rip my heart out like your siblings.

12 Responses to “Breaking Dawn: Getting on the ‘Not Getting On It’ bandwagon”

  1. Faith August 9, 2008 at 12:12 pm #

    I know what you mean about this series 🙂
    I hope that someday you’re ready to read it, BD was actually my favorite because it matures a bit more than the other books and sort of sucked me in less. Good luck avoiding spoilers! It’s a hard world out there for that right now, spoilers abound!

  2. briaq August 9, 2008 at 12:31 pm #

    Thanks Faith — This is one of those books where you KNOW you can’t walk away completely happy – it’s just not going to happen without a cop out of some sort.

    Of course, the “I have a huge re-write and edit that’s sucking me dry and needs to go out to the agent/editors who requested it this week and i’m dying here” thing could be the cause for me cushioning myself in safe non-bella reading.

    Nope. I just checked. . . that’s not it lol – it’s totally everything I blogged about.

  3. Kaige August 10, 2008 at 7:48 pm #

    I finished Twlight in basically two days. I have no desire to rush to the next one. I’ll probably only keep going with the series if DD decides to read it and there will be oodles of conversations about relationships and stuff along the way.

  4. deltay August 10, 2008 at 9:38 pm #

    Wow, that’s definitely a unique comparison; I like it 🙂
    BTW, where’s the cover from? It’s different.

  5. briaq August 11, 2008 at 11:01 am #

    Deltay – see the next day’s blog 🙂
    AND, me too, I totally love the other cover

    Kaige – once again, I’m amazingly impressed with how you keep up with your daughter’s reading – especially since she’s reading so far ahead of age!

  6. Unhinged (Andi) August 24, 2008 at 1:50 pm #

    Bria, it’s okay to read BREAKING DAWN.

    I was afraid, too. Horribly afraid (I have no life). I love Edward and Bella and I swear, my body was two degrees warmer during the first 1/4 of the book.

    Just read it!

  7. briaq August 25, 2008 at 12:06 pm #

    Andi – I love your drive-by commenting days!

    I may cave and read it later – when Markbearer is in the mail and I have a paycheck coming in again — otherwise when its the source of my emotional angst instead of just adding to it lol

  8. Sinead September 1, 2008 at 3:13 am #

    I know how you all feel too. I was (and still am) COMPLETLEY sucked In! I’ve read Twilight what… 10 times? more? anyhoo, i feel the same when i read he part when bella and edward first kiss!!! Am i insane? or just completley absurd? no, i’m obsessed. 😛 Lol. Breaking Dawn was awesome. SO much loose ends were tied. And i felt some sort of connection (like the other books as well though) to the characters,as if you could relate to them. For example; at that part when Bella threw up all that blood… ew i felt sick as well (maybe cz i hate the thought of blood? Owell) . It can’t w8 4 Midnight Sun! (grrrr,, referr to my comment on your ‘summer reads; twilight
    thing. *sigh*

  9. briaq September 1, 2008 at 5:19 pm #

    Sinead – you’re going to hate me 🙂

    I read the clip of Midnight Sun she released to do battle with the person who downloaded it to the Internet (which I find disgusting) and *sigh* felt let down.

    I liked the intensity of NOT KNOWING what Edward was thinking, of walking with Bella as she filled in the blanks. The only part I loved loved loved was the first few chapters where he meets and smells her….. Sometimes, you have to let your work stand on its own and telling Bella’s story was powerful enough — like I said, filling in those blanks took some of the power away for me…. but its a great way to allow fans to continue living in this world she’s created for sure!

  10. Sinead September 1, 2008 at 11:25 pm #

    Lol i don’t hate you! To be quite honest, i read the draft she put on her website as well. *sigh* i HAD to know!!!!!!
    I feel sick whenver i think about it… not gross sick, sick like me trying my best not to scream and giggle like the teenage girl i am. *sigh again* i really really do wish for her to continue though. I have to wait until the 8th for the movie, i may… no WILL go completley insane before then (not that i’m not already… but i have no other example). LOL 😀

  11. Sinead September 1, 2008 at 11:27 pm #

    PS, call me stupid, or silly etc. But i’m still SO ANGRY at whoever did that to her. That i felt like i was going to burst into tears whenever i read something funny off Midnight Sun. *sigh of pain* :O LOL

  12. briaq September 3, 2008 at 5:00 pm #

    You know what’s funny — right before this happened I’d been talking to a few YA writers (unpubs) about putting calls out on your blog for beta readers (people who read the book while you’re still kind of working it for opinions) — I was lucky enough to get a great review from a 14 year old beta already (well, at least that’s the message that came back since i didn’t know him *wink*), but thought maybe one more???

    And then the Stephanie Meyer thing happened and all trust dripped out of a lot of writers i know – I mean, its scary enough to trust someone you know, but someone you don’t – after that??? Scary stuff.

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