GREAT NEWS! Rita Nominated Tera Lynn Childs will be joining us for our next book for Luv YA Book Club on Book Club will meet Tuesday, July 7th at 9pm EST. Get ready to jump in!
Check out Tera Lynn Childs HERE and Oh.My.Gods HERE.
Past Rita books Book Clubs:
Tina Ferraro – ABCs of Kissing Boys
Rosemary Clement-Moore – Hell Week
I’m curious if other people go through spots like this….when the focus has to be on writing or real life or both.
If you’re following me, you know I’m leaving to drive around the country. I’ll be camping and couch surfing, hanging with other writers and spending time solo. I’ll be doing highways and back roads, scenic stops, historic spots and tourist traps…. want to come along, check the trip out: www.divadriving.wordpress.com
But, what I’ll be really focused on is my writing and my own path. I’m excited to see the country, but I’m also excited to be a little schedule-less (except for those DDots) — I haven’t been blogging because I’ve been on yet another deadline and the Diva Drive deadline, but, not what I’m schedule free, I expect I’ll be letting you all know how my writing life and writing career are going again (oh yeah! I know you’ve all been sitting at home hitting the refresh button over and over anxiously awaiting my updates *snort*)
So, bloggers — what makes you take a blogging break?
Welcome to my Excerpt Monday post. Want to get involved? Click HERE – and my partner in crime, Mel Berthier HERE.
This is the 3rd installment of Cami’s First Kiss. For the first 2, click Cami’s Page above.
Rejected and ridiculed I pivoted to leave the heckler alone at the bar where I’d found him, where he deserved to be. In typical Jenna Form, my sleeve caught on the arm of the empty stool, tipping it over and tripping me up. An annoyingly strong arm caught me around the waist and lifted me away from the wreckage before I joined it on the beer-soaked floor.
“Whoa there,” a voice rumbled behind me, his chest reverberating against my back as he held in the laughter.
He was taller than he looked slumped over the bar. My head brushed under his chin as he lifted me over the stool and set me down. His hands slid around to my rest on my hips as if he were afraid I’d spontaneously fall over if he let go.
I probably would have.
“Now,” the voice re-rumbled. “Why don’t you explain to me what you and your little notebook are doing in this bar.”
The hands fell away and I turned, my nose almost brushing the crisp, button-down shirt.
It was truly unfortunate. If Lisbeth had said, describe your dream man, I would have – without a doubt – describe Mocking Guy having never even seen him before.
Tall enough to wear heels with. Dark hair flopping over wire rimmed glasses. White button-down, sleeves rolled and tucked into jeans tight enough to look good and loose enough to, well, to look good.
I glanced at the barstool lying on the floor and considered picking it up, but bending over in a bar seemed like a bad idea unless I was looking to get my butt smacked.
“Okay. Well, thanks.” I stepped over the stool, making sure each foot cleared by at least a clean inch when a warm hand clamped around my wrist.
“I don’t think so, Sunshine.” Mocking Guy pulled my notebook from my hand and settled back onto his stool. “This is the closest thing to fun I’ve had since my friend dragged me in here.”
I gaped at him. I mean, I’d written that description before. Teenagers seem to gape a lot, but now, doing it, I felt just plain stupid. Where were all my snappy comebacks? Obviously I needed someone to follow me and do instant re-writes on my personal scenes.
In horror, I watched him flip the notebook open and page through to tonight.
“NOTE: Although prone to stating embarrassing things in public, men seem to be easily embarrassed by forward-thinking women.” Mocking Guy cocked an eyebrow at me. “Forward-thinking women? Is that what you are?”
Rounding the stool, I came at him from the other side and snatched at my notebook. “Yes. You probably wouldn’t understand the concept, but not all women believe they need to do exactly what’s expected.”
“And yet, I have a feeling that you always do.” He smirked and leaned back, crossing his arms over a chest that matched the aforementioned broad shoulders.
“Please give that back.” I was horrified at the squeak my voice made and hoped he couldn’t hear it over the man warming up with his tin whistle.
“Just a minute.” Mocking Guy reached over the bar and snagged a pen. Flipping to the next blank page, he began scribbling, his left hand held out to keep me at bay. Then, with a nod to himself, he flipped the book closed and said. “Okay.”
“Okay what? Okay you’ve violated my privacy enough? Okay you wrote something sufficiently mocking? Okay I can chalk this experience up to ‘what not to do in public’?”
“So.” His hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled me toward the bar. “Can I buy you that drink now?”
A good-looking guy wanted to buy me a drink at a popular nightspot. There were so many things wrong with that statement I couldn’t keep track of them all.
Glancing across the bar, I signaled Lisbeth to rescue me. I expect her to sweep down in all her gorgeousness, distract the arrogant man and allow me to regain my notebook. Instead, the traitor shook her head and motioned for me to do something – probably flirt – with him.
“Listen,” he said, forcing my attention back to him. “One drink and you can have your little scratchpad back.”
Before I could reach for it, he stood, shoved it in his back pocket and sat back down. How was I ever supposed to write in it again now that it had been rubbing against those jeans I had so admired a few minutes ago?
“Listen,” I tried to mimic his tone. “Give it back to me and I’ll introduce you to Lisbeth. All you had to do was ask nice.”
His whole face went all smirky-smirky and he glanced across the bar where Lisbeth was surrounded by a bevy of male model wannabes and a couple of geeky but successful-looking CEO type.
“So, if I asked nice, you’d cut me through that herd of followers to introduce me to your friend just to get this notebook back?”
“In a heartbeat.” That heartbeat stopped. He was going to ask me to introduce him to Lisbeth. The only guy who’d looked twice at me in six years, even if it was to laugh at me, and he was going to ask what every other guy did.
He eased his back against the bar, his hand still warm around my wrist, and leaned in to whisper over the growing noise of the crowd. “Not a chance, Sunshine.”
Links to other Excerpt Monday writers
Note: I have not personally screened these excerpts. Please heed the ratings and be aware that the links may contain material that is not typical of my site.
Mel Berthier, Urban Fantasy (PG 13)
Christina DeLorenzo, YA (PG 13)
Bryn Donovan, Paranormal (PG)
MG Braden, Contemporary Romance (PG 13)
Babette James, Fantasy Romance (PG 13)
Cynthia Justlin, Contemporary Romance (PG 13)
Kaige, Historical Romance (PG 13)
Adelle Laundan, Contemporary Romance (PG 13)
Jeannie Lin, Historical Romance (PG 13)
RF Long, Paranormal (PG 13)
Crista McHugh, Paranormal (PG 13)
Dara Sorensen, Paranormal (PG)
Our next book for Luv YA Book Club is going to be Tera Lynn Child’s Oh. My. Gods. It’s the final book in the Rita Nominee list for 2009 for us to read!
Book Club will meet Tuesday, July 7th at 9pm EST.
Yes, I know it’s earlier in the month than usual, but I definitely want us to read it before Nationals!
Check out Tera Lynn Childs HERE and Oh.My.Gods HERE.
Past Rita books Book Clubs:
Tina Ferraro – ABCs of Kissing Boys
Rosemary Clement-Moore – Hell Week
I cannot believe how many hits my old query letter gets. And so, I thought it would be wise to show you the current version of Markbearer’s query letter. Enjoy 
Dear Agent:
War ravaged the Birian Isles for more generations than the Lady’s historians have recorded. Now, an outside power greater than either of the small kingdoms threatens them both. Two young royals – one driven by logic, the other by emotion – find themselves connected by the Goddess-given marks they bear. Princess Faela of Elia and Prince Brennid of Seria each believe they have been born without a Markbearer, the skin-mark defining their lifemate, until they accidentally find one another during peace talks.
Headstrong Princess Faela buries her un-Elian emotions beneath the cool logic of her people. She could ignore that failing, if only her awkward height, gawky looks and missing Markbearer didn’t make her stand out in their staid world. The freedom to make her own choices means everything to her until the man bearing her mark arrives. Now she’ll do anything, even if it means denying the laws of her people and the Temple, to find her own path.
Passionate and driven, Prince Brennid envisions a future where the two isles regain the peace of their founders. The last thing he expects to find during the talks is the one thing that will allow him to claim his throne: his Markbearer. When Faela refuses him, he does what any arrogant, self-righteous prince would do – he kidnaps her in order to fulfill his role as the Serian leader predestined by the Goddess. Now he’s racing against Faela’s people, an unknown enemy and his own uncertainties to secure his throne and prepare for a war no mortal can win.
With a BA in English and a Creative Writing minor, and after stints as a teacher, teen mentor, youth leader, nanny, a shop girl, and paying the bills in HR, I’ve returned to my first love, writing. I’m the former Vice President of the local RWA chapter and the Workshop Chair for the 2008 Conference.
Markbearer, an epic Fantasy adventure interwoven with mythology, romance and intrigue is complete and available. While it can stand alone, I’ve envisioned it as the first book in a series and have begun the process of outlining and writing the next manuscripts.
Thank you for your time and looking at my work. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
Bria Quinlan
Phone#
briaspage.wordpress.com
I’ll openly admit how much went into writing Markbearer. A ton. Yeah.
But, cleaning out my files to begin book two, I noticed some things I did during the process that I’m glad I did.
So, like every first novel, I learned some amazing lessons. And, no. I’m no where near giving up on this book. I have several partials, some fulls, and the revisions written by 2 agents (but requested by 3) out floating around. I’m excited about it again and using what I learned to make my next books go smoother from the beginning.
What lesson writing/editing lesson did you have to learn the hard way?
The revisions are done and in. This book feels “more” done than ever — itmAs — I’m happy with the new ending I didn’t want to write. My beta readers are happy with the new ending the couldn’t wait till book 2 for. The night before it was to be sent, I woke up and said, “OH! This needs to have chapter 1 totally tossed out and rewritten from scratch!”
Well, that was fun — not. Ok, maybe a little.
I learned a TON about my own writing and about reader assumption. Chapter one is even more important than we’re lead to believe. Here’s why.
I had two people who read MB look at it and report back that I have no description in the book. I found this shocking. My CP found this shocking. My other beta readers found this shocking. Several people responded (when I did a temperature check with them) by writing me lovely emails describing my character, the world, the temples, rooms… and they were all alike. That was good. Imagine if they were all drastically different!
Well, in an amazingly odd conversation after reading the rewritten version, my CP asks, “So did you move all that description to the next chapter?”
When I told her, no. I just added new description in the new version she was pretty shocked. She gave examples of what she thought I’d lose. Luckily, I knew where each of those descriptions were in the book and could point them out off the top of my head. That got us both to pondering what I HAD lost by rewriting chapter one….and the most shocking revelation of my (short) writing career. There was NO description in chapter one. Not. One. Thing…Oh, except for that lovely opening line that had to get tossed. We paged through together feeling a little shocked.
Then I hit chapter 2 and there it was. Description. Chapter 3…check. Chapter 4…yup. And so on.
I’ll admit, description…. not my favorite thing. I did have to go through and strengthen what was there in each chapter (and that darn chapter 1), but it was there.
I asked people what they liked to read and if it was in my book. To a person, if they liked something that was strongly shown in chapter one…they said it was in the whole book. If they liked something that didn’t come in until later, they said it was missing or light…even if it was strong later in the book (even if later = chapter 2)
It really drove home to me how important it is to really have a powerful, well fleshed out first chapter. The mind is a funny thing. We look for what we enjoy and we set up our total experience by the beginning. Just think of the last time you went out for a nice meal. How hard is it for the waitress to recover from a horrible start? Yeah, it’s hard (I’ve been a waitress working with a meanie hostess…tips were always lower when she worked the door)
So, what’s your first chapter lacking? I know mine won’t be lacking description – ever again.
